I was in ecstasy. I had met someone who was showering me with attention and compliments every day. I got to feel alive once again. I was spending more time in front of the mirror and taking longer to get ready. He knew exactly what to say and we were getting along really well. The fact that he was going to show me how to earn my dream income was a cherry on top.
I knew he was married and his wife was living in the US. It had always been his dream to move to California and he was treating every single meeting as an opportunity to let us know how this business opportunity was getting him one step closer to his dream every day. He was selling hope to people like me; those who wanted to be somebody but saw themselves too far from their goals. It was success made easy. A one-time $99 start-up fee and an ongoing expense of $28/month was all. Being so insecure at the time, I sure as hell would buy hope at that price.
I showed up to every single meeting for 4 for months without missing one. I even made the introductory presentation a couple of times. I got to attend one of the quarterly meetings that was held in a nice hotel downtown. The goal was to invite as many people as possible. I remember calling almost everyone in my contact list to get them to come out and support me. It was certainly the most awkward task I’d ever done in my life. We were told to invite people without telling them any details of what we’re doing. We were advised to be as vague as possible. And it was close to impossible to get people to give up their Sunday morning sleep to show up to a meeting you were mysteriously reluctant to give details about. Some shut me down right away; some accepted at first but canceled later and some just didn’t show up. Looking back, I’m glad I did all that. It made me leave my comfort zone; so much that I lost my way back!
4 months into the business and I hadn’t still earned anything. But that wasn’t what that turned me off. It was when he almost confessed his love for me right before one of the meetings. He told me how he was having second thoughts about leaving; he told me how he had never cared for anyone this much without being sexually involved with her and how he wished he had met me earlier. I felt sick to my stomach when he announced how excited he was because he had booked his flight to spend the next 2 months in California in the meeting right after. I wasn’t too naïve not to know that people lie sometimes; but coming across someone who says something one second and changes his word in another without feeling any guilt was new to me. Very new!
I was filled with disgust and mistrust. However, I attended all the meetings till his last day just to “show” how much I don’t care whether he lives or stays and how I can handle my feelings. All I could hear was blah. Everything they said sounded so materialistic and fake. Everything they argued seemed like a fallacy. I couldn’t take it anymore.